{"id":759145,"date":"2021-07-13T08:46:57","date_gmt":"2021-07-13T15:46:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/?post_type=msr-blog-post&p=759145"},"modified":"2021-07-13T08:46:57","modified_gmt":"2021-07-13T15:46:57","slug":"the-power-of-silence-in-customer-interviews","status":"publish","type":"msr-blog-post","link":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/articles\/the-power-of-silence-in-customer-interviews\/","title":{"rendered":"The power of silence in customer interviews"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Kent Lowry (opens in new tab)<\/span><\/a> and Michele McDane (opens in new tab)<\/span><\/a>l<\/p>\n

\"the<\/p>\n

“Never miss an opportunity to stay quiet.<\/em>”\u00a0<\/span><\/span> \u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2013\u00a0 Eartha<\/span>\u00a0Kitt<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Silence.<\/p>\n

Our minds are accustomed to non-stop noise, from the moment we wake up until we go to sleep (and perhaps even while we are sleeping). We simply aren\u2019t accustomed to silence and don\u2019t tend to embrace it as part of most of our social interactions.<\/p>\n

Especially when you\u2019re speaking face-to-face with someone \u2013 when the focus of the moment is to interact verbally \u2013 even a short pause in the conversation can feel strange and uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

But for a Researcher meeting with a customer \u2013 even for almost any one-on-one conversation \u2013 silence is a useful tool. When Researchers give customers space to talk, to talk some more, and to consider what they\u2019ve just said, we can get insights beyond what we might think to ask about.<\/p>\n

Think of silence within a conversation as a tool for further discovery.<\/p>\n

The science of silence<\/em><\/p>\n

Research has shown<\/span> (opens in new tab)<\/span><\/a>\u00a0that, in the United States, it takes only four seconds before silence becomes uncomfortable during conversation.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When\u00a0we\u00a0encounter\u00a0a moment of silence,\u00a0our\u00a0innate discomfort\u00a0can\u00a0cause\u00a0us\u00a0to estimate the time as much longer than it\u00a0was.\u00a0If\u00a0you can\u00a0become comfortable with silence,\u00a0you can make effective use of it,\u00a0allowing\u00a0the customer\u00a0to fill the gap.\u00a0Silence gets you\u00a0and your preconceived notions\u00a0out of the way and creates a space\u00a0that your customer\u00a0can use to follow\u00a0their\u00a0train of\u00a0thought and\u00a0fill in with\u00a0their ideas.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Think of a customer interview as an effort to peel\u00a0an onion, where only the customer knows\u00a0what\u2019s\u00a0at the next layer\u00a0and how to get there: If you\u00a0talk\u00a0or interrupt\u00a0too much, you might never get past the first\u00a0layer or two. Silence will help get you to the core of understanding, to the next thing the customer will think of, to something you\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0even\u00a0know\u00a0exists.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tip:<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0What to do during silence? Maintain eye\u00a0contact.
\nWait patiently\u00a0with\u00a0relaxed\u00a0body language.
\nIf you feel that you\u00a0must\u00a0do something to occupy yourself, take a sip of water.<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By listening and\u00a0<\/span>not speaking<\/span><\/i>, you can discover things that may dramatically change the course of your interview or reveal details you might not have had the opportunity to learn.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tip<\/span><\/i><\/b>: Thinking about the four second information\u00a0we\u00a0shared above, try counting to seven
\nto encourage the participant into filling the silence.
\nThe awkwardness will be heightened in the first four seconds;
\nthen the participant can use the next three\u00a0seconds\u00a0to collect their thoughts before they speak.\u00a0<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening effectively<\/em><\/p>\n

When we\u2019re in a conversation and the other person is speaking, many of us spend that time thinking of our next comment or question and waiting for our turn to speak, rather than listening to absorb and understand what\u2019s being said. By demonstrating with silence and appropriate body language that you are truly listening, you can build connection and trust with a customer.<\/p>\n

Listening and being silent also prevents you from interrupting a customer\u2019s train of thought or influencing their behavior. For example, a customer may ask a question like, \u201cWhat should I do now?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s that button for?\u201d but those are questions that you want the customer to answer for themselves. Let them answer their own questions. Resist the urge to answer rhetorical questions or questions where the customer is thinking aloud. If you feel the need to prompt, you could say something like, \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d or \u201cHow would you handle that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tip:<\/strong> If you can’t resist thinking about what you want to say when listening, focus instead specifically on being silent.<\/em>
\nBy concentrating entirely on what\u2019s being shared with you, you will have a new skill AND new knowledge.<\/em><\/p>\n

You appear as — and truly ARE — in control when your first response upon hearing or seeing something that inspires a strong reaction isn\u2019t to respond in any way, but instead to become silent. And you especially want to embrace silence – and listen without reacting or in any way appearing defensive – when a customer picks apart any of your ideas or designs.<\/p>\n

Tip:<\/strong> If the feedback is negative about something you\u2019ve created, resist the urge to defend or explain.<\/em>
\nWhen it is time that you should speak, say something like, \u201cThat is great feedback. Can you tell me more?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The importance of validation<\/em><\/p>\n

Silence paired with non-verbal cues that you are listening (such as eye contact) shows interest. It is a gift to the person we\u2019re listening to. We know that people enjoy feeling validated, seen, and heard (and probably don\u2019t experience that enough). By employing silence, you give them the space needed for that to happen. Don\u2019t underestimate how valuable this is to customers who may have long-held frustrations about a product, or on the flip side, may want to wax poetic about what they love and why!<\/p>\n

In workshops that we have done with designers, program managers, engineers, and data scientists, we have participants practice being silent. In one exercise, we have participants pair up and ask one person to share something about themselves for five minutes, while the other person stays completely silent. This can be very difficult to do (to talk nonstop for five minutes or to be quiet that whole time) but it ends up being quite enlightening. On the listening side, participants have told us how they learned things they wouldn\u2019t have if they had interrupted to ask questions. On the speaking side, participants have told us about feeling truly heard and being surprised with what they ended up sharing. And on both sides of that \u201cconversation\u201d we\u2019ve heard feedback that people feel more connected.<\/p>\n

We should note that there are differences in comfort with silence among various cultures. The same study mentioned in the beginning of this article found that, while US speakers became uncomfortable with silence after just 4 seconds, Japanese speakers were comfortable with silence that was twice that long (8.2 seconds). A similar study found that Finnish speakers are also more comfortable with silence due to the high value attributed to privacy in that culture. However, being heard is one of the deepest human needs, and this is true across all cultures. Silence is necessary for one to be heard.<\/p>\n

Tip:<\/strong> Too much silence in an interview can sometimes go wrong. If you sense that a participant has become upset or agitated,<\/em>
\nit\u2019s OK to help them along with questions such as \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d
\nor neutral responses, such as <\/em>\u201cWhat are you looking for?\u201d<\/em>
\nWhen it is time to ask questions, try to stick open-ended ones<\/em>
\nand allow enough time for people to respond thoroughly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Perhaps the most compelling argument for silence is that when customers take the time to talk with you, they deserve your complete attention. As important as quantitative data is for a product team, truly listening face-to-face is what can provide valuable insights into a customer\u2019s emotions and relationship to a product. But you won\u2019t be able to hear them unless you create the silent space for them to be voiced.<\/p>\n

What do you think? How can these tips about using silence to gain greater understanding help you? What would you add? Tweet us your thoughts at @MicrosoftRI or\u00a0follow us on Facebook (opens in new tab)<\/span><\/a>\u00a0and join the conversation.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

Kent Lowry is a Principal Product Planner and Customer-Driven change agent at Microsoft.\u00a0<\/em>As a Product Planner, he drives formative and evaluative research to inform product strategy, and he also has a role driving culture change to inculcate customer-driven attitudes and behaviors within the engineering culture at Microsoft.\u00a0<\/em>Kent is adept at identifying the nexus of human needs with tech solutions.<\/em><\/p>\n

Michele McDanel is a builder, an organizer, and a storyteller with a bachelor\u2019s degree in Communications and an MBA. She is energized by solving problems and meeting business needs through communications and customer experience solutions that raise the bar. Michele enjoys building relationships and managing teams; and overall, just figuring out what the \u201cspecial sauce\u201d is that will be the competitive differentiator for a business and its solutions. She joined the Customer Insights Research team in 2019 to amplify the great UX research and data science work they do, and to showcase the thought leadership of the team across internal and external communications, events, and social media.<\/em><\/p>\n

Join our multidisciplinary research team! Job openings are posted here<\/a><\/p>\n

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For a Researcher meeting with a customer \u2013 even for almost any one-on-one conversation \u2013 silence is a useful tool. When Researchers give customers space to talk, to talk some more, and to consider what they\u2019ve just said, we can get insights beyond what we might think to ask about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38703,"featured_media":759148,"template":"","meta":{"msr-url-field":"","msr-podcast-episode":"","msrModifiedDate":"","msrModifiedDateEnabled":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_classifai_error":"","msr-content-parent":616842,"msr_hide_image_in_river":0,"footnotes":""},"research-area":[],"msr-locale":[268875],"msr-post-option":[],"class_list":["post-759145","msr-blog-post","type-msr-blog-post","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","msr-locale-en_us"],"msr_assoc_parent":{"id":616842,"type":"group"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-blog-post\/759145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-blog-post"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/msr-blog-post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/38703"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-blog-post\/759145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":760354,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-blog-post\/759145\/revisions\/760354"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/759148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=759145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"msr-research-area","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/research-area?post=759145"},{"taxonomy":"msr-locale","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-locale?post=759145"},{"taxonomy":"msr-post-option","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cm-edgetun.pages.dev\/en-us\/research\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/msr-post-option?post=759145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}